Love and Marriage

heartAlthough we spend a significant amount of our practice devoted to helping clients end their marriages as civilly, healthfully, and respectfully as possible, Freed McKeen loves love.  And, we love that the Illinois Senate chose Valentine’s Day as the day to hold a vote approving marriage equality.

Same sex marriage is not yet legal in Illinois, the House has not yet voted and sufficient votes are said to be lacking.  Still, though, what a lovely day for the State’s senate to choose to do the right thing.

Illinois wasn’t the only state for all lovers yesterday.  Minnesotans, who voted to defeat an amendment banning gay marriage to their state constitution in 2012, rallied in support of marriage equality yesterday for Valentine’s Day.

New England’s one marriage equality hold-out, our neighbor Rhode Island, passed marriage equality “handily” in their House o f Representatives in January.  The State’s  Senate has not yet acted, which Rhode Island’s Republican-turned-independent Governor Lincoln Chaffee has said jeopardizes his State’s economy, stating:

We are in intense competition with Connecticut, New York and Massachusetts.  We are all in the same economy. We have to have the same welcome mat at our door that our neighbors have.

It seems that love is big business.

We wish our friends and family a healthy and happy day, with whomever they choose to make their Valentines.

“Appropriately The Day Preceding Valentine’s Day”……CT’s Great Engagement Ring Case

Engagement Ring

I’ve never posted a full case opinion on this blog before.  Opinions usually lack appeal to a general audience. It’s why lawyers are paid to read them. But the case of White v. Finch is worth the read on this Valentine’s Day:

This is an action in which the plaintiff seeks to recover from the defendant the sum of $515.91, alleged to be the value of an engagement ring which, the engagement broken, the defendant has refused to return.

This is a case in which the credibility of the witnesses has greatly influenced the decision of the court. Pagano v. Mitchell, 9 Conn.Sup. 329. The parties joined in some very spirited issues of veracity. Juliano v. Latella, 12 Conn.Sup. 471.

In October, 1962, the plaintiff, then a teacher in the public school and a church organist in the town of Clinton, met the defendant. Going out together, they developed a mutual fondness, one for the other, and, before Christmas, 1962, the plaintiff proposed marriage to the defendant. More unready then unwilling, the defendant demurred, claiming that she wanted time ‘to think it over.’ On February 13, 1963, appropriately the day preceding Valentine’s Day, the proposal was renewed and accepted. One week thereafter the engagement ring, subject of this action, was given to the defendant by the plaintiff. The engagement was not announced publicly immediately. This is important only in that the defendant’s failure to take immediate action to relay the joyous information to the would became a bone of contention between the parties.

There were other problems. The previous constant companionship became infrequent meetings. The plaintiff, a ski enthusiast, sought out the snowcapped hills, leaving the defendant, uninvited, alone in Clinton. The plaintiff, a forceful man, announced to his immediate friends that the wedding was to be in August, although his bride-to-be had not as yet set the date. This no more pleased her than did his gift of a book of etiquette, ‘so that she might plan the wedding correctly,’ but their status as an engaged couple remained the same.

The climax came in the summer of 1963, coincidentally with the tercentencary celebration of the founding of the town of Clinton. Among the planned festivities, there was to be a beauty contest which the defendant had been asked to enter, representing her mother’s garden club. To this the plaintiff had multiple objections, the most cogent of which was that he was, as he stated, to be a judge in the contest. The ethical argument won out, and the defendant withdrew, attending the contest as an observer. The plaintiff, far from being a judge, was not even there. He had gone to the defendant’s home and, not finding her there, suspected the worst.

However unfounded were these suspicions, they remained with the plaintiff until the next day, when the defendant came to the plaintiff’s lodging to seek the return of a punchbowl given them as an engagement present. The purpose of the quest was innocuous. She wanted to use it. The plaintiff at first refused to return it, saying that it had been given to them for their home and there was to be no home. Then followed his statement, ‘As far as I am concerned, this engagement is through.’ The following day the defendant returned to the plaintiff all gifts given her by him. She did not return the engagement ring. Subsequently, an announcement was made in the newspaper, at the defendant’s bidding, that the engagement had been terminated ‘by mutual consent.’

The question whether the engagement was broken by one of the parties or terminated by mutual consent cannot be determined by a newspaper article, calculated to preserve the dignity of both parties as far as the rest of the world was concerned. The defendant could have done little else.

Whether the defendant would have retreated from the engagement before the plaintiff said the fateful words is not in issue. Whatever words were spoken and whatever action was taken to terminate the engagement were spoken and taken by the plaintiff.

The question as to the ownership of the engagement ring is unique in this jurisdiction. Whether Connecticut people are quick to adjust such problems without adjudication or unwilling to publicize them is not quite clear. Others in other jurisdictions have not been so shy. The Roman Law provided for the return of betrothal gifts when the parties mutually dissolved the contract and for forfeiture by the party at fault when the repudiation was unjustified. Fryer, Readings on Personal Property (3d Ed.) p. 957. The prevailing view in the United States and England follows the Roman Law in placing weight upon the fault of the parties. Hence, it has been held that where an engagement is broken owing to the fault of the donor, he may not recover the ring. Schultz v. Duitz, 253 Ky. 135, 69 S.W.2d 27, 92 A.L.R. 600; Beck v. Cohen, 237 App.Div. 729, 262 N.Y.S. 716; Beer v. Hart, 153 Misc. 277, 274 N.Y.S. 671. The decisions are based upon the theory that the ring is given upon an implied condition that the marriage will take place. The law construes a promise of marriage generally to be a promise to marry on request. Clark v. Pendleton, 20 Conn. 495, 505. Seldom are such contracts expressed in very definite language, and they are not improperly or infrequently inferred as much from the conduct of the parties toward each other as from any direct evidence of expressed stipulations. Waters v. Bristol, 26 Conn. 398, 405.

A breach of an executory contract by anticipation occurs only when there is a distinct, unequivocal and absolute refusal to perform. The renunciation must be so distinct that its purpose is manifest and so absolute that the intention to no longer abide by the terms of the contract is beyond question. Wonalancet Co. v. Banfield, 116 Conn. 582, 586, 165 A. 785; Wells v. Hartford Manila Co., 76 Conn. 27, 35, 55 A. 599. No words could have been more distinct, more unequivocal than the plaintiff’s: ‘As far as I am concerned, the engagement is through.’ There was, indeed, a breach of the promise to marry, but it came about through the actions and words of the plaintiff.

It is well settled that the party who has initiated the action and who seeks a judgment in his favor must prove that which he alleges, if he would prevail. Stevens v. Smoker, 84 Conn. 569, 572, 80 A. 788; Lockwood v. Lockwood, 80 Conn. 513, 521, 69 A. 8. This burden of proof the plaintiff has not sustained.

It would be academic to discuss the question of damages here.

For the reasons above stated, the issues are found for the defendant.

Accordingly, judgment may enter for the defendant, who may receive her costs.

-HOLDEN, Judge

White v. Finch, 3 Conn. Cir. Ct. 138, 139, 209 A.2d 199, 200 (1964)

 

Is Same-Sex Marriage Responsible For Affairs In Connecticut?

Here in Connecticut, same-sex marriage has been the law of the land for over 3 years. Since that time, we’ve been hit with a freak snowstorm in October, an earthquake, and a hurricane – but no locusts as of yet.

In what’s my favorite article of the year, the Gay and Lesbian Community in Minnesota has apologized for ruining the institution of marriage and causing former Senate Majority Leader Amy Koch to stray from her husband.

 ”On behalf of all gays and lesbians living in Minnesota, I would like to wholeheartedly apologize for our community’s successful efforts to threaten your traditional marriage,” reads the letter from John Medeiros. “We apologize that our selfish requests to marry those we love has cheapened and degraded traditional marriage so much that we caused you to stray from your own holy union for something more cheap and tawdry.” Link.

Hopefully, CT’s Office of Legislative Research can look into the nexus between same-sex marriage and extra marital affairs in the 2012 legislative session!

Attorney General Jepsen Creates Web Resource For Domestic Violence Victims

Practicing family law, I should be more familiar with social services for domestic violence victims. When presented with a client who is the victim of domestic violence my mind immediately narrows on the client’s legal remedies.

Attorney General Jepsen has compiled a web resource on the Attorney General’s webpage for domestic violence victims. I’ve uploaded this page to my Evernote account.  It is useful for lawyers who need to make referrals to social service agencies.

 

Honored To Be “A First 100″ Honoree

October is domestic violence awareness month. Last year over 54,000 individuals sought the services of their local domestic violence agency in Connecticut.

Last Wednesday, I was honored to attend an early breakfast in Cromwell. I was named one of Connecticut’s First 100. An award given to male leaders committed to the Connecticut Coalition Against Domestic Violence to raise awareness in regard to the availability of and access to domestic violence services. I was in some really great company including some outstanding members of the legal profession.

I'm the guy on the far right with dark hair and my side to the camera.

The breakfast really got me thinking of what it is that I can do to combat such a large problem and I’m still thinking about that.

At the end of this version of “Betterman”  that appears on the PJ20 soundtrack, Eddie Vedder urges listeners “Don’t run away”.  I can’t think of a more appropriate chorus for Connecticut’s First 100 leaders.

YouTube Preview Image

Wouldn’t Want To Be On The Losing Side Of This One

The Connecticut Appellate Court just upheld a trial court ruling finding a plaintiff in contempt and ordering the plaintiff to pay the defendant $71,475.10 in attorney’s fees.  Hirschfeld v. Machinist.

The parties got divorced in 2007 by entering into a separation agreement. The agreement contained a merger clause stating there were no outstanding issues between the parties other than those set forth in the dissolution agreement.

The plaintiff then brought suit against the defendant in New York for a claim that was 10 years old. The New York court dismissed the plaintiff’s claims as “meritless” “outrageous” and “designed to harass”.

The Plaintiff should have spent less time in court and more time listening to the Beatles:

YouTube Preview Image

Going To Jail For Failing To Pay Child Support

“Wait, we’re behind the other students and we’re supposed to catch up by going slower than they are?” – Bart Simpson

Yesterday, I spent the day in Magistrate’s Court. Magistrate’s court principally concerns matters of unpaid child support.

While waiting for my case to be called, I watched a man go to jail for not paying child support. The man owed approximately $30,000 in back support.

Yesterday marked about the dozenth time the man appeared in court for failing to pay support over the past year. He’d been given chance after chance to get a job and start making payments.  He claimed to have done job searches but lacked any proof he had done anything remotely close to a job search.

He said he was starting a job being paid $3 an hour under the table next week. The judge didn’t buy that.

When it became apparent to everyone in the courtroom the man was going to jail – he pleaded with the judge for one more day to come up with a payment. He was sure he could find the money. The judge told him to that if he had access to any money that now would be a great time to make a payment but the man predictably had no money on him.

The judge found that the man had flaunted all sorts of prior orders and explained that in order for the court to exist its orders need to mean something.

As the marshals circled the man, he pleaded some more. But to no avail.

The judge ordered him to be incarcerated. He was placed in handcuffs and removed from the court.

The man couldn’t pay child support because he didn’t have a job. For the period of his incarceration, his ability to obtain a job went from unlikely to impossible.

Post originally published on April 30, 2010

CT Judicial Branch Should Improve Family Courts By Scheduling Family Relation Mediations

Ask anyone who has been in CT’s family courts what happens when they go to court. Almost without fail, that person will say “I waited in the hallway” for most of the day.

Most of my clients have to take the day off from work to attend family court. Early arrival is usually imperative so that way a party can get his name written in on the top of the sign up sheet.

Every person with a motion must first meet with a family relations counselor. Before seeing a judge a party must first see Family Relations.

Many matters are resolved at this point. The Family mediation staff is excellent. The problem is that there are too few mediators, too many cases, and too little time.

If a case isn’t resolved it then gets assigned to a hearing before a judge on another day or the parties wait for an available judge. Sometimes it’s not until late in the day before a party gets before a judge.

For the life of me, I’ve never been able to understand why parties didn’t have set times to appear before family relations. Scheduling mediations with family relations at specified times would prevent people taking time off from work to sit in a hallway.

If parties are unable to come to an agreement then the matter should be scheduled for a court hearing at a later date.

Such a system would also benefit Connecticut businesses who now lose full days of work from their employees.

This idea is not without problems.  The largest problem would be scheduling times. It’s hard to get 4 or 5 people together on short notice. Implementing this idea would require radical changes to the way things operate. Anytime major changes are made – problems are bound to arise.

But that shouldn’t stop the Judicial Branch from trying such a system. In fact the foreclosure mediation program specifically schedules mediation times.

The less time we all spend waiting in hallways the better.

Why Parents Need Wills

If you love and care about your children, you’ll do a will. If you don’t love them, feel free to play roulette with their lives and the lives of your well intentioned family members.

It doesn’t matter that you don’t have much if any money. If you have children, you have a reason to do a will.

You and your spouse can die together. There are plenty of opportunities for this to happen. Usually it doesn’t happen but sometimes a car gets hit head on by an 18 wheeler.

If you and your spouse die, your kids, aside from being devastated will be placed in legal limbo. Legal limbo means some complete stranger will decide who gets to raise your kids.

I’ve met a lot of judges.  All of the judges that I’ve met work diligently to “get it” right. But no matter how hard a judge works, she can’t possibly know everything you do about your relatives.

Most of the harm will be done by family members who think they’re acting in the child’s best interest. This may or may not involve your living relatives spending large sums of money to bitterly fight with each other in court.

And if anyone senses that there may be money involved….watch out. Right now, everybody fights over every small amount of money. If the last words you read are “MACK” your estates may have a potentially significant wrongful death claim.  Relatives who didn’t care about your children when you were living will suddenly want to parent them.

My point is that you need to decide who will take care of your children in the event something happens to you. You. Not a judge. Not your Aunt. You.

Telling someone who you want to care for you children doesn’t count. Doing a will does.

Naming a guardian is perhaps the last and best gift that you could give to your children and family members.

Love your children enough to name a guardian for them.

Who Pays For Pet Medical Expenses In A Divorce?

by Ryan McKeen

Dogs are expensive. Especially, sick dogs.

Any dog owner understands that pet medical bills can be no small expense.

Under Connecticut law, pets are personal property. There is little legal difference between a dog and a car.

Recently, a Connecticut Superior Court in the case of Geiger v. Geiger was confronted with the issue of post divorce pet medical bills.

The court ordered that the husband and the wife are to equally divide the costs of medical treatment for dogs.

The court treated the dogs as if they were marital debt. Think about that the next time you think of buying a pet. Pets are not just personal property. They have the potential to become marital debt.

To put it another way, pets are a pain in the asset.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

home Freed McKeen